Goosebumps: More Rock n Roll Church Stuff

When was the last time you got goosebumps in worship?

Mine is Christmas Eve this year. It had much more to do with the woman and 1-year-old sitting next to me and the memories of Christmas Eve a year before than the service. (sorry, dad)

So another question: When was the last time you got goosebumps in worship that were caused solely by the worship experience itself?

I just listened to Live On Two Legs, a live album by the best band of the past 25 years, Pearl Jam. I was reminded as I listened that my lifetime goosebumps moments were all at rock concerts and very rarely at a worship service.

Pearl Jam opens with Release, my favorite song, as the rain starts coming down.
Metallica bursts into the opening of Fuel as 8, 10-feet-high flames shoot out from the front of the stage five feet from my face.
Eric Clapton starts the encore with the greatest lick ever written, the opening of Layla.
Dave Matthews hits notes so high, MY throat starts to bleed.
Martin Sexton sings of reuniting with his long lost son.
Robert Randolph plays notes on his lapsteel guitar that send shockwaves down my spine.

I have never felt closer to God than in those moments. I mean it, even the Metallica show. And not just close to God; close enough to reach out and touch God's face, close enough to feel the love of God for all creation radiating like the heat from a bonfire.

I have never felt as close to God in any worship experience I have ever been to.

There's three reasons worship, particularly worship music falls short:
1. The music is lame. Please note: none of the concert experiences above are from the many Christian concerts I've been to. No Audio Adrenaline, no Third Day. None of them compare musically. Giving up secular music in high school is one of the dumbest things I've ever done. Christian music sucks. The songs are awful, the lyrics are meaningless and sentimental. Worship music is emotional. Great music is transcendental. (Brief pause to remember the guru of transcendental meditation, Maharishi Mehesh Yogi, who is personally responsible for giving the Beatles the inspiration for the White Album) It doesn't tug on your heart strings; it takes you to another place, a Hole Nother Level. When I experienced a Tool concert, with the only person I have been directly involved in coming to the blessing of baptism, Jeff Green, I got to a point in the concert when all I could do was laugh. Out of joy, out of sheer hopelessness that I would never be able to play like that, out of the magnitude and power of the songs. All I could do was laugh. Lindsey knows that little laugh well. I desire with all my heart to be brought to a place of such perfect bliss that laughter is my only response in worship. But, the music doesn't compare, it can't compete. There is no candle big enough, no fuel powerful enough, for Christian music to EVER hold a flame to great rock music.

2. The musicians aren't ready, aren't good enough. I know that in praise bands there is a feeling that all who come to participate are welcome. But you can't put anybody who has good intentions and wants to be invovled up there in charge of taking a congregation to another place with their music. Rock players are virtuosos; they are the absolute best at what they do. They rehearse relentlessly and devote their entire lives to the perfection of their skill. And when they perform, everything is perfect. Now, compare that with the 15-year-old with the out of tune Fender Squire, the church organist transplanted to the Casio keyboard and the 8 vocalists all trying to outsing each other and only accomplishing to sing LOUDER than each other, which is not the same thing. There is nothing wrong with striving for excellence in our worship musicians. Nothing takes me out of an attitude of worship faster than ONE wrong note, one sloppy beginning or chaotic ending, or-especially for me-a drummer who knows ONE beat and ONE tempo and ONE dynamic. Musicallity. Musicainship. Here come the comments about worship being a welcoming environment and a pastor/worship leader not being able to say no to anyone, not being allowed to say "your playing isn't good enough." It's simply not true. Worship is supposed to be an encounter with God, face to face with the giver of life...and MUSIC. If Jimmy wants to play guitar and just learned a sloppy, halting version of Lord I Lift Your Name On High, DO NOT put Jimmy in your praise band. Repeating, there is nothing wrong with striving for excellence in worship music and worship musicians.

3. The whole service is not designed to work and fit together to provide an atmosphere of transformation, transfiguration, transportation. At a rock show, the lights, the stage, the video behind the artists, every single detail goes hand in hand, and works in absolutely perfect harmony to provide the best performance possible. Yes, I said performance. An argument I can't stand is that worship music can't be performance. It HAS TO BE!! And, every possible aesthetic componant needs to work in sync.

This serves as a wonderful transition paragraph, almost as if the writer designed that way.

I want to start a rock 'n roll church. A church whose worship services cause goosebumps and shivers EVERY week. A church that's just as much rock show as worship service. A church that starts no earlier than 10pm and goes until 2 or 3. A church with a pyrotechnics ministry. A church that looks on the inside more like the Blue Note in Columbia than Missouri UMC down the street. I want a praise band that kicks ass-that's right, I said ass-that plays music that would be played on 96.5 the buzz not the crappy Christian radio station, a band that can jam, a guitar player that can play SRV solos behind his head (big ups to Ryan McClouth), a band of real, true-blue, professional level musicians, a drummer who-like every rock drummer should-is just trying to play somehow near the level of John Bohnam, a drummer who knows who John Bohnam is. I want a congregation with ripped jeans and band t-shirts, with tatoos and metal in their heads. A congregation who knows as much about the White Stripes as they do about Jesus. A congregation who knows who the White Stripes ARE!!!

There is a huge, ultra-dedicated, ultra-forgotten population that is looking for God just like the rest of us: rockfans, punks, metalheads, neo-hippies, goths. Every church has that kid who dresses in black, wears eye make up and listens to My Chemical Romance. These kids are forgotten in the best cases and alienated and scolded in the worst cases. In between those cases, the kids are patronized by people who are genuinely trying to help but write off the situation as a phase. Something that you grow out of. You never grow out of being a metalhead, of loving rock music. That's why, if reached, these people could be the most hardcore, devoted disciples since Peter. (that whole getting crucified upside down thing was pretty hardcore discipleship)

The more I write, the more serious, and seriously possible and seriously needed, this seems to me. So, let's daydream a bit. Rev. Brad Bryan, Minister of Metal. Rev. Adam Mustoe, Minister of Pop/Acoustic/Hip Hop (for one of the white-est crackas I know, he's got a lot of hip hop) Rev. Mark Angleton, Minister of Ska. Rev. Adam Caldwell, Minister of Punk/Emo/Screamo. Rev. Andy Bryan, Minister of 80s/Doodlebops. Rev. Crystal Hughes, Minister of Jazz. Rev. Joel Kidwell, Minister of 90s/Alternative. Rev. Dennis Harper, Minister of Classic Pop/Rock. Rev. Jim Bryan, Minister of Old White Guy Music. Rev. Kevin Shelton, Minister of Music No One Has Ever Heard Of but Him.

Director of Music/Band Leader: Ryan McClouth (the greatest guitar player I have ever known)
Art Director/Stage Design: Ryan Delgado, one artistic Mexican.
Co-Directors of Lighting and Pyrotechnics: Rev. Ron Carlson and Rev. Shane Moore, can you even imagine. Ron in charge of the fire.
Door Managers (bouncers): Adam Leathers, Adam Gordon-Louch.
Ministers of Hospitality (bartenders): Rev. MegAnn Moore. Rev. Katie Trinter. (yeah, that's right Katie, i'm putting the girls in charge of hospitality)

I don't know about any of you, but this church sounds pretty badass.

Rock On People, Rock On.
BB