Hey everybody. Yesterday I was at the hospital as a woman decided to put her sister on Comfort Measures Only, which basically means, let her die. These two women had never married and had been room mates for damn near 80 years. Pardon me, mother, but this is really f***ing with my head. I can't even begin to fathom being in this situation. So, of course, my mind tried to fathom just that. I thought of my grandparents, parents, brother, sister, friends, and the tears came. I started praying, "God, you better not ever do that to me." I know that's immature, spiritually, but after all these years in the church and a religion degree, including classes on thanatology, none of it mattered. It still came out. AND they had to make the decision in 20 minutes. Surgery, with an unknown and probably fatal outcome, or rest, with a definate and certainly fatal outcome. I just don't know. I can't get my head around it. Everybody, I want to be aware of my surroundings and able to do things on my own. If that possibility is out of the question, let me go.
Sorry for depressing,
b
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
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2 comments:
You are experiencing ministry. More questions than answers, more demands than time, more needs than your ability to assist. You are also dealing with the whole Terri Schaivo realm of advance directives. You might think about leading a class on it in your church. Much love, Dad
Sounds like you are "coming of age" in this thing we call life. And I know that you will be fine, even though you most likely will never have all the answers you seek. Now on to my practical side - get your own wishes down in writing - NOW. Not all people who face the end of life have already lived a long and full one. I love you. Mom
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