What makes a great horror movie? The antagonist? The protagonist? The make-up effects? The music? The answer is yes.
I love horror movies. I'm not quite an afficionado, but I know my stuff. So, in honor of Halloween, the wonderful time of year when even American Movie Classics plays Friday the 13th 4, the one that Jason isn't even in and the killer is actually Cory Feldman (what?), here's my offering of horror movie rules, winners and losers.
There's basically three types of horror movies: nightmare inducing, movie-theater-scream-inducing and vomit inducing. The all have their merits and their crown jewells. For my money, the nightmare inducing horror flick is the best. The villian you see in your dreams for weeks after watching is better than getting scared a few times in the theater by a villian you barely remember.
For years, the golden age, the nightmare genre ruled. In the 90s, Scream ushered in a new era of the, well, scream-inducing movies. And the 2000s gave us the wonder of Saw that introduced the bile-moving horror flicks. With every good revolution comes backlash of course: punk movement gave us Good Charlette, Nirvana led to, ugh, Puddle of Mudd. And Saw, an excellent horror movie, led us to the point of watching plotless, gruesome torture movies. Sitting in a theater watching a man get castrated, by rusty scissors OR vagina dentata (see Teeth), is not scary, its gross.
No, my friends, I am a traditionalist. Its the movies that get into your head, that haunt your dreams, that are true horror movies. They may not be "scary" in the theater, you may not jump out of your seat and grab your seatmates arm in shock, but you can't get them out of your head. Reagen in the Exorcist, Michael Myers in Halloween, Jack Torrence in the Shining. These are the faces I see in my nightmares. Not the goofy knife-weilding killer from Scream.
Alright, my argument for the best horror movie of all time: Silence of the Lambs. Not a horror movie. Bullshapoopi. Sure, there's no ghosts, no zombies, no monsters, nothing supernatural at all. But, sit down by yourself, in the dark, turn off the phone, no interruptions, and then try, just try I DARE you, to not see Hannibal Lector's eyes in your dreams for weeks to come. Try not to hide your face from the screen in the climatic night-vision scene. Try not to hear Hannibal's voice when you close your eyes. In terms of sheer nightmare inducing, horror movie power, you don't get better than Hannibal the Cannibal.
Enjoy Halloween, watch scary movies, visit haunted houses.
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again, B
Monday, October 13, 2008
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10 comments:
You are a lover of the horror movie. If you'll recall, you and I watched "Saw" together at my folks house in KC. I made Harley (my dog) sleep in my room.
(in Dwight tone)QUESTION. Do you feel like your perceptions of these movies has changed over time? EXAMPLE. I saw Candyman in 7th grade and couldn't even finish it I was so scared. I watched it again in 10th grade (it took a lot of convincing trust me) and thought it was lame-o.
Any thoughts on movies you once feared but now just laugh at?
i remember it well, my friend.
Depending on the mood I'm in, and the people I'm with, any horror movie at anytime can be either scary or funny.
Sometimes, when Reagen from Exorcist crabwalks backwards down the stairs, I bust up laughing.
A lot of the 80s slasher flicks, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, are pretty lame in rewatching.
And then, there's It. It made me afraid of clowns as a child, then when I watched it with Mr. Caldwell I realized how rediculous it was!
We all float down here, B
I just have to mention that the first time you hid your face in a movie was when you saw "E.T."! You were a toddler and it scared you to pieces. Do you remember?
Mom
ET came out in 1982, the same year I did!! Of course I was scared, I sorry I don't remember it.
Oh no - Mom busted you out. E.T.!!! Ahh hahh hahh!
I still think that "It" is scary...the scene where the dead dude comes out from the bed...creepy!
"Is your refrigerator running? Well you better go catch it! Ahha Ahha Ahha"
Where do the Hellraiser's fit in this category break down? From what I can tell it would be a hybrid of sorts.
I absolutely don't like the new horror...you "dead" on with that assessment...give me "The Omen" and I'm happy.
Brad...have you gotten into the HBO series "Carnivale" yet...I think you would like it.
Peace
What...am I getting "blog"balled here? Can a guy get a response? I wanna play too!
You saw ET when it came around again to a theater at the Lake and you were about 3 or 4. You went with Karen Haupt while dad and I were at a play rehearsal. So there!
Mom
Sorry, Caldwell, geez. It is not scary anymore, sorry.
Hellraiser is definately between the lines but I think it fits pretty well in the nightmare genre. You see those things in your dreams, especially the chattering teeth guy.
And the Omen is awesome. The original, of course. Aaron and I were watching the Omen one night in Columbia when one of mom's christmas music boxes started playing by itself...
I'm only now getting caught up with Deadwood, so I haven't seen Carnivale; i've heard good things and want to spend some time with it someday.
Are you appeased??
ps: did you know Hannibal lector never says "Hello, Clarice" in SOTL. Just good morning, and good evening? It's true.
Mom, I watched Ghostbusters Two again last night and remembered seeing it with Ben and Adam and the babysitter and crying my face off!
thank you...I am appeased.
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