Brotherly Love

I've been trying for over a month to somehow put the experience of the birth of Braeden James Bryan into words. And, I've decided that I can't.

The uncle/nephew relationship has been a big deal in my family my whole life. My uncles have uncle names! Sam, Bob, Phil, Jerry, Jack. They have uncle jobs...a salesman, a moneyman, a trainman, a musicman, and a mathman. And they are a big part of why I am the man I am.

So, when my sister asked is I would help her with pregnancy and birth, I said yes, without really considering what I was getting myself into. I went to birthing class (as it turned out, my best friend Bates was in the same class), I watched THE VIDEO, I practiced the positions and the massages-nothing below the waist! It was 4:30 Sunday Christmas Eve morning when my sister called me. I answered the second time she called and she said the magical words, "I think we should go to the hospital." So, at 5:30 we got to the hospital and I thought we would be headed home within hours. I just knew that this was a false alarm. But, then the doctor came in and said, Let's have a baby.....

Holy Crap! It's actually happening. We're gonna have a baby. I'll spare you the details of what happens next. I didn't see anything. I whispered in her ear, held her hand, carried her puke bucket. And, about 40 minutes after she went in, I was the first non-medical person to hold Braeden James Bryan on this earth.

I've never felt closer to my sister, closer to myself, closer to God, than the moment they handed me this screaming, writhing, breathing, living, perfect little boy.

Brotherly Love, Unclely Love, It's a Beautiful Thing.

I love you, sister, little nephew. I'll do anything for you for as long as I can.

Peace, B

The Bustle is Back

Wow, over a month since my last post. And a crazy one it has been. I helped my sister give birth to a beautiful baby boy, Braeden James, and I moved to St. Joseph, MO. I'm working on getting online at home, so I don't have to wait until a particularly boring class period to blog. You've been very patient with me and trust me, there's much more rantings and ravings in me and I'll be back more often.

Peace, B

Da Vinci Code and Christians on Television

I reenter the blogring after a brief hiatus with this:

Why didn't anybody tell me the Da Vinci Code sucked? I mean, in all the talk and controversy surrounding this movie, seriously i don't know a magazine or news program that DIDN'T talk about it, no critic ever mentioned that it was a bad movie. The dialogue is awful, the plot is too convaluted to provide any good dialogue. The actors have to spend to much time explaining what's going on. "It's the codex, oh and by the way, this is what exactly a codex is....." Ugh. The plot also means that none of the characters ever develop. I didn't care about any one person in this movie. Not one, except maybe the best character Silas, who they kill off before the end of course. And the one way to save the film, Silas following Tom and Sophie to the Abbey and having a final confrontation of good and evil, was blown when Silas, a professional assassin and fixer for Opus Dei who whips himself with a cat-o-nine and wraps some spike thing around his thigh to feel Christ's suffering, gets killed by some beat cops. WHATEVER!! Killing off the only interesting character in the film led to the disappointing, anticlimatic ending that everyone with half a brain had figured out the whole time. After Silas died....nothing happened. the whole rest of the movie, nothing happened. I know that I'm not a critic. I liked T3: Rise of the Machines. But i know a failed movie when I see one. Dry dialogue, no character development, and no climax qualify as BAD MOVIE.

There was something else too. Everybody check out Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip on NBC. One of the leads, the female whose name excapes me now of course, is a devout, sort of conservative Christian. But get this, she's not crazy. There's a Christian on television who's not depicted as a raving lunatic or pious fathead. She's struggling with how to be faithful living in a secular and even skeptic world of Hollywood comedy. She curses, she has premarital sex, she has a since of humor. In other words, she's a REAL PERSON. When most Christians on TV are blowhards like Pat Robertson or bleeding heart softees like the dad on Seventh Heaven, this girl, whatever her name is, is the closest thing to a real christian I've seen. Just a regular person, trying to be faithful but also trying NOT to be a dork, or a Jesus freak, or a NeoCon Crusader, just trying to be real. Plus, it's a great show.

Alright, peace. BB


ps: not that i want to throw my hat into the ring in the whole marriage talk but here's my point: the STATE should not use the BIBLE as its reasoning for a ban on gay marriage. Our government should be run by rationality, by people of faith or not, and any rational person can see there's NO REASON THAT HUMAN BEINGS SHOULD TELL OTHER HUMAN BEINGS THEY CAN'T GET MARRIED.

Kindness Addendum

Well, after posting about the Kindness Campaign last night...I hear that Vee gets pulled over at 8:30 in 15 degree weather for going thirty miles an hour in a school zone. Cops who pull people over for ten miles an hour or less, especially if the total out-of-control speed is THIRTY!!, are just doing it to be jerks. They're mad because they're up early, or their boss is a jerk, or they just get off on the power of it. I see people pulled over a lot around town, and it seems to me that there's more important things for the cops of Kansas City, one of the highest per capita murder rates in the country thank you very much, to do than to bother people who are going 55 instead of 45 down 71. It's a freakin' Highway, it says so on the sign. Everybody speeds. Especially cops. I'm glad you met your quota this month guys, oh wait, did you hear about the double homicide last night on Troost? No, you were stopping the menace to society speeders? I see.

Ok, minor set back. When you go out of your way to be kind, you're not always going to feel the love thrown back at you. We have to get over that. Lower our sholders and power through. Bite our lips, grab onto something and give it hell. Whatever.

I'm still calling on the regulars and cursory readers of Bustle to begin the Kindness Revolution. Be neighborly. Be helpful. Be curteous.

You stay classy, Blogosphere.
B

Kindness

I have to say right off the bat that this post was inspired by a South Park episode.

What ever happened to people being nice to each other? I owe someone a thank you. The second to last time I was in Columbia, I was having trouble with my wiper motor. The kind of trouble that required me to tie a string to a cluster of wires, run that string out of the top of my hood, through my open window (it was the first ice of the year!), and into the cab of the car so that I could pull the wires tight when the wipers went out. Anyway, as I had pulled over to readjust my ingenious solution, a girl of about my age pulled over and asked me if I needed any help. A girl, alone, stopped to ask me, a guy alone, with a dark Blazer in the dark night in an ice storm, if I needed any help. Well, whoever you are, thank you.

I didn't know how much this act of kindness touched me until tonight. If I didn't choose South Park over SportsCenter tonight, I never would've known. But, it did touch me. Because, it was so unfamiliar. I really didn't even know what to say or do other than mumble "No" and "Thanks" because I am so unaccustomed to kindness.

We live in a world in which you can't help anyone change a tire because THEY might abduct YOU, or they might think YOU are going to abduct THEM. I see a young woman, or old woman, struggling with groceries I don't even consider asking to help, because I'm afraid of what she'll think of me.

Some people say we should practice random acts of kindness. Not so my friends; I propose the start of a strict, rehearsed, and habitual campaign of kind acts done for people who you may or may not know. Who's with me? Do something nice for someone today. Completely uncalled for kindness.

You can change the world with your own two hands...
BB

Agency-Mt. Moriah

After two months of waiting and a postponment by the bishop, I've finally found out that I'm going to the same churches that we thought I was going to from the very beginning. Agency and Mt. Moriah are two small churches just a little south of St. Joseph, MO. From all I've heard, they are made up of many young professionals who don't want to live in St. Jo or KC, they want a young pastor and the facilities and resources of both churches are solid and well taken care of.

I'm still waiting on a lot of details, and getting frustrated a little bit, but I'm pretty excited about news from friends like Steve Campbell and Phil Nemier and folks from school who know the area who all think I'll be a good fit and happy with my ministry at these two churches. I'll be moving to the south St. Jo area, living in small house there, and making a little more money than I'm making now. Of course, I will keep my little corner of the blogosphere informed as I get more info. And, for those of you in Missouri, look forward to a moving date!

Thanks for thoughts and prayers for me and Lindsey through this time of anticipation and now transition.

Peace, B

Incubus

This is a post for the Adam's: What happened to Incubus?? Now, you and I have disagreed on this for three albums now, but come on guys. I'm all for artistic development and following your heart in creating your music, hell I even liked the new, short-haired, martini-drinkin' Metallica. But, Incubus has consistantly put out three ablums with two or three good songs on them and the rest are cleverly disguised Clay Aiken songs. This new one has three good songs, Light Grenades, Diamonds and Coal and something else I can't remember right now. The rest of the songs are boy band songs. Boy band lyrics, boy band melodies, boy band harmonies. Four songs use the One-two-three-one-two-three-one-two-one-two pattern.

Come on guys, it's time to fess up. Mustoe, I know you have a not-so-secret boy crush on Brandon Boyd. Caldwell, we've been with these guys since the beginning. But, come clean, they just don't rock anymore. In the words of the Bob Rock produced, slowed-down, best selling heavy metal album of all time, Black album.....It's Sad But True.

Peace, B

Reading Material

For you and for me.

Reading for me: I realized last night, sitting in Worship class listening to a lecture on "Choosing Music for Worship", that my wonderful school will continue to ignore anything remotely related to the postmodern movement. I need to catch up on my reading, so blogosphere-Andy, Parents, Adam's, Howie and everyone else-I request some titles with which to start getting caught up on postmordern worship, postmodern theology, postmodern ecclesiology, etc. And, in the interest of my days in the Socialist Republic of Fayette, if anyone HAS these title and wouldn't mind sending them my way, that would be great....I am a poor man with no idea where my checks will come from after Jan 1st. Anyway, I look forward to your suggestions and getting caught up so hopefully i can join in on some of these wonderful conversations.

Reading for you: There's a couple things I'd like to comment on this morning. I haven't been to blog world since Kramer went Krazy. First, let me say that Richards was inarguably wrong. However, was the tape(or phone, actually) just not rolling during the actual heckling. I echo Adam Leathers point of imagining being in YOUR office, or perhaps behind the pulpit, and two drunk morons stroll in and start harrassing you. The issue is not the racial slurs. Family Guy could've said the same words and everybody would've thought it was hilarious. The point is..."50 years ago they would've had you upside down with a f***ing fork up you ass". That's what Kramer said and that's why he owes the world an apology. He should not be blacklisted, pun intended, his career should not be ended over this. He lost his temper, we all do. After offering an explanation other than "I don't know what came over me" and giving a sincere apology, he should go back to busting through doors and busting our sides. I'm just glad we've got something to get TomKat and K-Fed off our minds for awhile, until the next celebrity scandel comes along of course. Oh, by the way, we're still in an unwinable war. American soldiers and Iraqi teenager freedom fighters die everyday in a war we should've never started. And where the hell is Osama Bin Laden? Oh, and that whole congressional child abuse thing, where'd that thing go? OH OH Oh and how 'bout the millions of people dying of Aids in africa, who's going to "liberate" them? Kramer made Newsweek people. Aren't there more important things? (ps. I'm so glad Brittney has found a suitable replacement for K-Fed to help her seem not as trashy....Paris Hilton...my point being, why do I care and why do I even know about this!!)


I guess that's all I got for right now. Take it easy, sleazies. Look forward to your suggested readings.

Peace, B

This is Re-dad-gum-diculous!

Talk about incommunicado, huh? I went out of town, got sick, or just didn't have much to write about. Until now.

My friends, I am more stressed out than I've ever been in my life. Some of you know how big this is, because I'm not a guy who gets stressed easily. But, here's what's going on.

I have no idea where I'll be working and/or living as of January 1st. The bishop wanted to wait until Cabinet meeting (when all the DS's got together) to decide anything about my fate. This is good and bad. Bad-I won't know until sometime next week if I have to move sometime next month. Good-The bishop, the Schnase himself, wants to be a part of the conversation. I have daydreams about them creating a position for me on the District or Conference. I could be Director of Keeping Old White Preachers As Hip As They Can Be Or At Least Informed. Or something.

Here's the other thing. My sister's having a freakin' baby. Mom, in her wisdom, said women have babies all the time. Yes, but not my sister and not with ME IN THE WOMB...er...ROOM! I'm excited but terrified. I just know she'll go into labor on Christmas Eve, or New Years Eve when I'm preaching, or on moving day. And, this would be about half as frustrating if we didn't have to deal with, oh I'll call him, "The SOB", in the WEEKS...yes, weeks...after the birth of my new nephew.

So, yeah, I'm freaking out a bit. I can't sleep, not that that's different from usual. I've been working out again to try and help with the nerves. But, I'm pretty much wound tight 100% of the time. Put a lump of coal [in my hand], in two weeks you'll have a diamond.-Ferris Bueller, edited edition.

Oh yeah, AND, Mustoe-Harley's getting ready to get a new girlfriend and have little angel puppies. Shaq, our yellow lab of 13 years has a tumor on her liver and has stopped eating. The chart at the vet that measures dog years by weight and other things says she's over 110 years old. The chart stops at 11 with dogs over 55 pounds. Shaq weighs 65 pounds and is 13 and a half. She's a wonderful, quiet, loving, loyal dog and we'll miss her. And she's a looker Harl. Watch yourself.

Peace everybody. Peace of mind and Peace on earth.

Gobble, Gobble. B

We did it!

Well, more accurately, THEY did it. Well, the nation, excluding myself and Mr. Mustoe, has spoken. They're tired of Republican Good Ol' Boys Club politics and the Democrats have resumed power. Now, maybe some more things can...not get done in Washington. Seriously, when do these people stop campaigning and starting doing some actual work. Congress works a little more than half the year. When they actually come to session, they work three day weeks. I'm happy at how the polls worked out, but let's see what happens next. I'm willing to bet that nothing really changes all that much. I put money on politicians remaining power-lusting, bribe-taking, ethic-lacking, talking heads.

Of course, you can see where I'm going with this. I think we should go back to theocracy and I should be appointed (anointed?) Holy American Emporer.

Sorry. Anyway, it's a good day. I hope it works out.

There's nothing you can do that can't be done,
B

Micro-Church

Hats off to Howie.

I’ve been mulling this over throughout the weekend after Howie and I talked about it Friday night at a lock-in we were running.

I’m really excited about the idea of Micro-Church. What is Micro-Church I hear you ask? Well, within the laws of physics, one must assume that if there’s a micro church there must be an opposite: mega church. We all know what mega churches are. The sprawling suburban worship centers with five services per weekend and 15 pastors on staff. So, micro church-the actual opposite of mega church would be mini church, but that denotes a level of weakness or inferiority-would be the equal and opposite reaction to mega churches in all their glory. A small group of people, humbly and quietly gathering together at a church, or at a home, or in a park to talk about, pray about, sing about, learn about God. A few points of interest:

The church has become deluded. These mega churches-in my opinion-miss something big in the message of Jesus Christ, humility. Mega churches have bought into the American ideal that bigger is better, which is contrary to Jesus’ teaching on the last and the least and the lost. In Borat (whose wisdom will be discussed in the post below), Borat ends up asleep on the street in front of a church. The camera wakes up with Borat still sleeping on the church porch and the Sunday morning worshippers going out of their way to walk around him. 15,000 people, worshipping together in a 25 million dollar church, in a upper middle class suburban neighborhood---doesn’t sound anything like the last, least or lost. Doesn’t sound very marginalized at all. The message, mission and purpose of the church have been lost to the pursuit of numbers on the membership roles or the pursuit of the biggest Family Life Center.

The solution is going back to the base roots of the church. A few people gathering together, mostly in homes, to read and study scripture, sing hymns and talk about living as Christians. These few people collect gifts or dedicate time to serving the marginalized in society. This group may OR MAY NOT be associated with a larger church, or church conference, as simply a branch off of a mega church. This is how almost all denominations started-the Christian church, the Protestant church, the Methodist church.

Two problems:

The issue is the interpretation of our great commission, to make disciples of all the world. I think we can spread the love, compassion, justice and peace that Jesus teaches and represents without making our churches big and ugly and impersonal and inauthentic and Americanized and computerized and polarized. So, how do we make disciples of all the world and not let ourselves get too big for our own britches?

The second problem is keeping these groups of a few people gathering together to simply and humbly experience life as God’s kids together theologically informed. The potential for sectarianism and, at the most extreme, cultism is high. Becoming overly private and separated from other groups goes against the relational aspect of church. On the other hand, we live in a time in which its easier than ever to be in touch with people. So, possibly, online communities of these micro churches, something like myspace, is a way to keep them together and united as a body.

The emergent church tried this. They broke out on the claim of anti-organized church and being the alternative to big, faceless suburban mega churches. But, then they grew and grew and have now organized into a church corporation of their own.

Anyway, sorry this is so long. But its been awhile and this has been on my mind. Comments on Micro-Church are welcome. Stay tuned for yet another post today on Borat!

Yeshemaash! My name ah Borat..

So begins one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. No, not the funniest I’ve seen and certainly not the funniest movie ever, like some critics said. Christmas Vacation, Spaceballs, Wayne’s World, Anchorman…all are funnier than Borat. But, still it was an unbelievably hysterical movie.

Well, I know that at least two people are waiting to hear what I really think. Mom and Dad, I cannot believe you sat through that movie. You walked out of American Pie!

Anyway, all sorts of adjectives could be used to describe Borat-shocking, hilarious, genius, outlandish, obscene, unrelenting, disturbing, disgusting, side-splitting, alarming…prophetic?

Let’s talk about what a prophet does. In the Old Testament sense. Micah, Isaiah, Jeremiah, all of ‘em. Their job was to say, “Hey, Idiots, you’re not getting it!”
And that’s exactly the point of Borat. This guy comes to America to learn about American culture and values; instead, he found New Yorkers too afraid of each other to greet another human being, car dealers who don’t blink an eye at the term “p*&^y magnet” (“That would be a corvette” says the industrious salesman), a southern pastor who all but ran away at the site of a black escort (something about eating with prostitutes comes to mind but I don’t know why), worshippers who are so passionate about their own evangelical experience that they walk over a homeless man on their way to church, and a young man who thinks the nation would be a much better place if slavery was reinstated. The film maker, Sasha Baron Cohen, takes one look at what America says is important and shakes his prophetic fist.

Alright, I might be reading more into this than I should. It’s just a movie, a comedy. It’s goal was to make us laugh and it made us howl. But like Lavarr Burton used to say, don’t take my word for it. Go see it. You will laugh the whole time. But, be warned…Borat includes the most outrageous, disgusting, disturbing, and so-bad-you-feel-horrible-for-laughing-but-you-will-laugh moment ever made. You’ll know it when it starts and you might want to close your eyes…

Peace, B

Defending not Defensive

Alright peeps. Enough's enough.

To my brother, thank you for the advice and guidance. But, I'm not making an argument here. I'm not writing a legal document that I hope will stand up in court. I'm ranting. And, I think it's fair to say, that so far seminary is not helping me in my ministry. I'm glad it helped you. I also think it's fair to say that the supreme court is truly out of touch with mainstream american culture and thought, no matter who's on it. Anyway, I digress. I do enough research, I'm not going to look anything up EVER for the purposes of this blog. I'm just going to type and see what happens. That's what I do and I've never claimed to do any more.

To my friend Mustoe, being open-minded does not mean having no opinions. It means having your own opinions and being willing to dialogue with folks with differing ones, like our new friend Dark Gable. I do think I'm open-minded; I'm willing to listen to other peoples viewpoints, see the value in them, and reject them all equally! Ha, just kidding. And you're right, I didn't vote in 2004. But, I'm an American damnit. Complaining about things I had no part in creating is my God-given right, just like owning a handgun that's only real purpose is to shoot human beings and telling strangers what they can or cannot do in their bedrooms. Sorry again.

To Caldwell, nice addition to the debate my friend. I think in the next presidential debate, the vice pres. candidates should stand behind their partners and go, "Aww, Snap!" when they make a point. Remember, life is about getting over our "doctrinal issues".

To Dark, thanks for stopping by. I look forward to your future additions to the conversation. All I hope for is a country where people like you and me who don't agree can live together, truly and honestly dialogue together, and work together to make our world a better place.


B-R-A-D to tha B. I'm outie 5,000, take it sleazy.
Catman...

What I Think...

I was thinking the other day that I've never just come out and said what I think about some of the hot button issues that are tossed around here and there. These might not come as a surprise to some of you but here we go.....

I think that we are suffering through the worst government-president, congress, and supreme court-that this country has ever had. Our president is an idiot who's more worried about his own already irrepairable legacy than the good of the people of his country. Our congress spends so much time campaigning nothing ever gets done. The republicans are arrogant blowhards who threw ethics out the window and the democrats are too chicken, disorganized and divided to do anything about it. The supreme court is a group of 90 year old white men who could not be more out of touch with the people they serve. We are in bad shape people, and I don't know how long it's going to take to fix it.

There is no logical, ethical, religious, politcal, economical, or social argument against gay marriage. It's just stupid. Being anti-gay marriage just doesn't make any sense.

I believe that abortion should be legal. In the cases of underage patients, I agree that parental consent should be required. Excluding cases of, God forbid, rape or insest, I ALSO believe that both parents should have consent over the decision. Being pro-choice, I also must say that personally I would not choose to give my consent if faced with that situation. Never say never, but I'd have a really hard time making that decision.

I believe creationism should never be taught in schools, UNLESS all religious theories of creation are also taught.

I believe that stem-cell research can offer many great things to our world. Unused embryos are thrown away by the thousands on a daily basis. If those could be used to help cure Parkinson's or MS, why would ANYONE be against it.

Seminary does not prepare you for a life in ministry. Life in ministry prepares you for a life in ministry.

There is something wrong with driving a car you don't need, living in a house with more space than you need, having more or more expensive clothes than you need. There is something WRONG with it. Putting a Jesus fish on your Lexus doesn't mean a thing when kids in Africa are starving to death, when people in KC don't have homes or jobs or schools. NO ONE needs a car more than 35,000 bucks.

Plagerism is the heart and soul of art. There is nothing that can be played, sung, written, painted, sculpted, photographed that hasn't been done already. There is no guitar lick that Jimi Hendrix didn't play, no chord progression that Paul McCartney hasn't done. Plagerism is necessary for art to exsist.

I think that all images, representations, and symbols of religion should be removed from all government property. Reason, justice and democracy should be the basis for any gonvernment. Never something as subjective as religion.

The WNBA is not as exciting as the NBA because women can't run as fast, jump as high, or play as well as the men.

Oh, yeah, and I believe that children are our future, treat them well....

Comments welcome, other topics you want to know where I stand, just ask.

That's it for now...Heal the World, Brad

I Am THE REV!!

Sitting on the dock, I expect the stars to rearrange themselves and say "Brad, this is your mission..." I wait for the Lady of the Lake of the Ozarks to rise from the water and hand me either a Bible or some drum sticks.

Of course, nothing happens. I sit on the dock with my wood tip cigars and a bottle of wine, wondering what the hell I'm gonna be when I grow up. And nothing happens.

Well, I've come to a decision anyway. Inspired by my brother's recent blogs concerning the ordination papers, I have thought about this in essay form since I might have to write one anyway someday.

I'm going to take a part-time senior pastor position, stay in KC and finish school. I'm going to do this for four reasons.
1. The reasons I don't fit in within the church are the very things I want to change about the church. They are the very things that millions of young adults find wrong with the church. I want to change the church, or at least have a part in changing the church, to make the church (buzzword alert) relevant. Young adults aren't mad at the church, it's not that they don't believe in God, or have any overt disdain for the church. They just don't care. And, honestly, there's not much for them to care about. I want to be a part of the changing of the church, and not in the role of a lay leader...from within.
2. I'm good. Let's just throw modesty to the wind for a second...I'm good. You give me a Bible verse and a time of year and I can give an impromtu sermon that'll leave you in tears. I talk good. But it's not just that I can string some pretty words together that kind of make sense, I can read people. I know when "Fine" is EXACTLY how people are feeling and I know when there's more to the story. I can pretty much guess what makes a person tick within a few minutes of conversation. I can't deny these gifts. And, I can't go on the rest of my life wanting to preach again. I love preaching, coming up with an idea, delivering something from my heart to their heart, I love it. And, I'm good. I am the Rev.
3. What does it say about me as a man and as a person if I simply give up after one bad experience? When things get hard, you don't just tuck tail and run away whimpering. I've never thought that and I'd never teach that. If you fall off, you get back on, and if you fall off again, you get back on, and if you fall off again...well, then maybe its time to try something else. But one bad album (No Code-Pearl Jam) doesn't define a band's lifespan (Ten, VS, Vitalogy, Yeild, Binarual, Riot, Pearl Jam-Pearl Jam). And one bad fit at a church won't define mine.
4. There's a reason that the fourth reason is fourth. It's the least important, but it's still a reason.(Kind of like the WNBA of reasons-eh, Mustoe?) It's a good job, and, right now, it seems to be the only GARAUNTEED job around. None of the churches I talked about with Steve are a step back and most of them are a step up. Pay check, benefits, housing, I'd get to keep my place, and I'd get to do what I love. I'm never, NEVER, going to find a job where I don't have to sacrifice something to be able to do something I love. As I told mom, if I were a postman, I'd get to listen to music all day...but, I'd have to walk. So, being a preacher is a good job. I don't know how good it is when you're not living on your own with no family to support. But, right now, 30,000 sounds like a hell of a lot of money.

So, there you have it. I'm staying in the game and I feel good about it. I'm going to find my place in "the life", or I'm going to make it. Steve tells me of a young man about thirty years ago who didn't feel like he fit the mold of pastor, who had some pretty outspoken feelings about the church and the nation, and who found his way to become a great pastor and be authentically and genuinally himself. I wonder who that could be.

I don't say that to bring up the whole "legacy" issue. I'm just saying, it's been done before and that gives me hope.

Thanks for your prayers and thoughts and wishes. My last day at Central is Sunday, Dec. 31st 2006. Oh, and by the way, I'm preaching that Sunday, you might not want to miss it!

Love, Grace, Peace
B

Hiatis

Spending some time away this week. And I do mean away...no cell phone, no computer, no homework, no dog. Just me, thoughts and the lake.

Just wanted to let you know that I won't be in touch for awhile. Actually, my cell phone will be in my car, I just won't answer. I'll check messages every night in case of emergency.

Unless you stumbled by this blog on accident, I love you all and am strengthen by your faith, love and support.

Wish me luck,
B

It's Official...

Well, friends and neighbors, it's official. As of January 1st, 2007, I am no longer Associate Pastor at Central United Methodist Church. Met w/ Staff Parish Relations today.

Honestly, I have no idea what I'm going to do next. Yes, I put in an application at a record store for assisstant manager. But, that was spur of the moment.

I love preaching. I'm good at it. I'm just not good at any of the rest of it. I live for the Sunday mornings that I get to lead the service, I get to plan the experience, and I get to deliver the message. However, I can't just go to another church, put on the suit and the robe and pretend to be that guy. I am not that guy. If I can find a church where I can preach and be pastor AND be me-t-shirt/jeans/sandals/guitar/Beatles/Metallica/Tarantino/week-0ld-beard-then maybe, MAYBE, I could see myself living the life.

I know that I can't put on the robe and pretend. It's not fair to the church nor me nor God.

On the other side, I would be perfectly happy working in a cd store, listening to music all day, sharing music all day, stocking music all day, and playing music all night. I would do this in a second, if not for two things:
1. I gotta get pizaid-I don't know how realistic it would be to hope to make a living working in a music store.
2. There's this nasty, pesky little thing called CALLING. As Mustoe said, I don't want to pull a Jonah, or for that matter, an Andy (7 years as Presbyterian chior director) or Jim (public health degree and social worker), all of whom tried to get away from the CALL and just when they thought they were out, they pulled them back in.

So, I really have no idea what's going to happen. All I know is...I'm going to be ok. I have the love of an amazing family behind no matter what happens. I have the love of an amazing woman, who will love and support and respect me no matter what happens. I have the love of my bro-bros, and my sis-sis's (just sounds like sssssss when you say it), great friends that will always be great friends. And, I have the love of God, who IS LOVE!

As long as I have all those things, nothing else matters. No paycheck, no job, no career, will ever replace or ever be as important.

This too shall pass-Donutman
Everything's gonna be alright-Bob Marley
There will be an answer, let it be-John, Paul, George, Ringo

Peace, B

Balance to the Force

Things I love:
1. My family, first and foremost, always and everywhere.
2. Vee. Especially now, you give me the courage to reach for my dreams and the security of knowing that if I don't get there, you'll still be proud of me.
3. Ice cream, but come on, who doesn't? I'm a cookie dough man myself. Anything with bite size pieces of uncooked cookie is just fine in my book. Nothing fruity either, or frozen yogurt. Anyone who tries to make something better by making it more healthy is missing the point.
4. Music. Seriously. Music is the window to the soul, an expression of everything that is beautiful and everything that is ugly. There's more truth and wisdom in Bob Marley's Redemption Song than most sermon's I've ever heard. (Granted I haven't heard my dad in a while and never heard my brother) I hope that in the coming weeks and months, music takes a more prominant role in my life, because I can't live without it. Music isn't a lving, music is life. Music may be the purpose I'm looking for. So, again, I encourage all of you. Go hear live music, support local bands and music stores and radio stations, spend time at a record store that let's you listen to stuff, always look for something new and exciting, don't listen to stuff THEY tell you to, pastors-read Rolling Stone, if you don't know who the Flaming Lips are you're going to have trouble getting young adults excited about your sermons, go to a music festival-nothing compares to 20 bands playing the same event, and most of all, keep your ears open.
5. My crazy dog. She's always there and always excited to see me. She's a lousey alternative, but when Vee can't give me a hug, giving Fee a stroke on the head right now helps calm my mind a little bit.
6. Old friends. The friends you don't have to stay in touch with to pick up right where you left off everytime. Mustoe, Sarah, Calds, Dru, Tyler, Jeff, Jaclyn, Bates. My life would be nothing without them.
7. Talking about, thinking about, studying about, this mysterious thing we call God. We will never understand, we will never fully know. God is the ocean and our knowledge is a raindrop of experience. But I love the search, the journey.
8. Drumming. Nothing makes me more at peace, more in touch with my emotions, more at one with the world. Drumming is my transendental meditation.
9. My prenatal nephew. Little Elvis isn't even hear yet, and I know the joy and love and light that he will bring into our lives.
10. Fall. Finally, I don't sweat brushing my teeth in the morning.

So, I can't write as much about what I love than what I hate. But, when you love something, words just seem to feel inadequate.

Peace, B

Position is Everything

Holy crap! I'm writing this blog from MY OWN COUCH! I'm never getting up from this spot.
B

Good Ol' Fashioned Rantin'

Things I hate:
1. Geraldo. This has got to be one of the most self-important, self-appointed blowhards out there. Rivera, shut up!
2. Celebrities involved in politics. Because you had the opportunity, doesn't mean you have the right. We don't care what you have to say, we just want to be entertained. That's why you exist. Dance monkey.
3. Captain students. Today more than ever. Yesterday we had a "I don't know what this has to do with the conversation but..." and a "I have to correct you on that Dr. Randolph (PHD in Ethics)". People, just shut up and listen to the teacher. We don't care about your trip to China, we don't care about your degree in education. Everybody knows pedagogy, not anthrogogy, means teaching. Just shut your mouth.
4. Drug commercials. If you needed anymore proof that the drug companies main goal is to SELL YOU A PRODUCT not make you better or heal the world or anything with any small thread of moral fiber, just watch primetime-midnight TV. I'm going to go ahead and say every other commercial is trying to get you to use some drug. And as the night gets on, when I usually watch TV, guess what happens. Sleeping pills come on the tv to tell you how their narcotic can put the sugar plums in your head. Everybody knows the prescription for most good health: eat fresh, clean, good foods and get off your ass and take a walk. Stop dealing drugs on my TV.
5. DJ's who think they're coordinators. Sunday, my bro and friends and I played the opening music for the Crop Walk and BJ the DJ comes in and thinks he's Bob Costas, DJ Jazzy Jeff, and Leonard Berstein all rolled into one.
6. Teachers who think their scatterbrained nature is cute and charming when in reality it is the most annoying and impossibly aggrevating thing in the world. When your personality gets in the way of your students learning, it may be time to step aside. Got a test next week. Do I know what's gonna be on it? Of course not. Do I know what format it's gonna take? No way, Jorge. Do I know what to spend my time studying? ha ha.
7. Guys in pop bands that head bang. Nickelback, the WNBA of rock, I'm looking at you. Actually, last night on Craig, Say Anything played through a song with no distortion, no guitar solo, really pretty good pop song. But they were shaking and girating and punching themselves like the best Slipknot fan. If you can't play the lead solo in Slayer's Hell Awaits, you can't head bang. Stop trying to turn your little Peggy Sue song into Iron Man, you can't.
8. Pidgeons. No real reason, just hate pidgeons.
9. People who try to prove how eclectic they are by listening to everything the radio or Rolling Stone says is avant gaurde or hip or indie or underground. Yes, we all love Radiohead. Yes, that Gnarls Barkley song is different (not good, just different). Yes, Dwezil Zappa's new side project is gonna be killer. Just like what you like. Own it. Stand up for it. Stop being a robot. Emancipate yourself from mental slavery.
10. Indecision and Indigestion

B